Who is this Ken Wheaton Character?

Hello, Readers. Today’s interview is with rookie writer Ken Wheaton, author of the fabulous First Annual Grand Prairie Rabbit Festival (which includes a really good etouffee recipe). He’s got a heck of a voice and has said that he will gladly visit bookclubs as long as they have booze handy (“Ken Wheaton in Your Bookshelves and in Your Liquor Cabinet,” I believe he was trying to call this “tour”). He’s also a nice guy and a fund-raising marathon runner. And I really appreciate him taking the time to do this interview!
Here we go, readers.

SPH: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
KW: Tootsie Roll Industries says on its FAQ it
depends on saliva, size of your mouth, etc. And the company claims
“the world may never know.” Pffft. As if. Someone, somewhere knows.
Obviously, it’s not Mr. Owl. Owls aren’t to be trusted, but any fool
knows it takes more than three. Sadly, though, I don’t know the
answer. Like Mr. Turtle, I can’t finish without biting.

SPH:  My dog has a drinking buddy – a retired Army Ranger who lets him drink
Guinness directly from his own glass. Do you see anything wrong with that?
KW:  I used to feed my mom’s cat ice cream from my own spoon, much to the
chagrin of my step-dad. Though I do have to question why your Army
Ranger pal is giving your dog a Guinness. What? American beers aren’t
good enough?

SPH:  Do you only drink coffee with chicory in it? Keeping with the Louisiana
theme, do you have an accent? Do you speak Cajun?
KW:  No. I don’t drink coffee with chicory in it. I don’t like it. And most
people throughout South Louisiana don’t drink it with chicory. Fact of
the matter is, chicory was added to coffee by the French during one of
their wars when coffee was running low. Chicory was a thinner. Like
breadcrumbs in a cheap hamburger. So I don’t even feel compelled to
like it. That said, my favorite coffee is Community Coffee, the state
coffee of Louisiana.
An accent? It comes and goes depending on who I’m with and how much
I’ve been drinking. I don’t speak Cajun French. My dad does. Or did.
My mom might be able to understand a little. Cajun French was pretty
much beaten out of my dad’s generation when the Public School system
took over.

SPH:  In a wrestling match between a crocodile and an alligator, who would
win?
KW:  I’m gonna have to go with crocodile. They’re just bigger and nastier.

SPH:  I saw a picture of you that was supposedly post half-marathon. You had
pink bandages on both legs. Why were you all beat up like that? Did you fall
down or something? (It’s really great that you’re doing the Team in Training
fundraiser thing!)
KW:  That was actually post REAL marathon. That was my first New York City
marathon and it did not go well. My knee started bothering me about
halfway through. But I finished. I don’t remember the time because it
was that embarrassing. But a few years ago, I ran it again and
finished in 4:14:59, which was good enough for me. The “bandages” were
actually fist wraps from my days in karate. I was just using them to
hold ice packs in place.
And, yeah, the Team in Training has been fun. The publisher of the
magazine I work for started a team last year. If anyone wants to throw
a couple dollars into the pot, knock yourselves out. It’s for a good
cause. http://pages.teamintraining.org/nyc/hampton10/kwheaton

SPH:  Regarding “Ken Wheaton on Your Bookshelf and in You Liquor Cabinet”:
If you attended someone’s book club, which bottle of liquor would you go for
first?
KW: Jack Daniels. Or bourbon.

SPH:  If you were in a Fight Club, who would you fight? (I ask almost
everyone that one.)
KW:  Crime. And Jared from the Subway commercials. Something about that
dude just rubs me the wrong way.

SPH:  If you could take a ride on the space shuttle, would you?
KW:  Hell yeah.

SPH:  What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
I don’t know how to define crazy. If we’re talking stupid, probably
drinking and driving. Or, back when we were college kids in the
Hamptons during the off season we’d break into abandoned houses just
to hang out.
Crazy inspiring? I spent a semester on a 125 foot schooner. We crewed
it from Boston to the Dominican Republic. That was pretty special.

SPH:  What kind of toothpaste do you use? What makes you use that brand?

Crest. Because that’s what I used growing up. I can be fairly brand
loyal that way. Though when my ex-wife’s mom was just giving us
carton’s of Colgate, I didn’t complain. But I do prefer my toothpaste
in a tube. I don’t like those little new-fangled stand-up
contraptions. Crest in a tube was good enough for Jesus, it’s good
enough for me.

And that concludes our interview. Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did! Check out more about Ken at the following links

http://www.kenwheatonwrites.com
http://twitter.com/kenwheaton

Also, check out The First Annual Grand Prairie Rabbit Festival

THANKS, KEN! That was crescent fresh!