If you are a regular visitor to my blog, or have seen me on Twitter, you will know that Jeremy C. Shipp is one of my all-time favorite writers/attic clown punching bags/yard gnome army commanders. I have stood in for him on Twitter, pushing his books and sites when he was feeling under the weather, and I frequently ask him for advice which is even sometimes writing-related. Jeremy is an amazing, super-talented storyteller, and I want to write just like him when I grow up. (Well, be as well-received, anyway — I’m not much of a bizarro writer. Besides, who’d want to compete with King Jeremy?)
So, if everyone’s ready, put away your beverages (you don’t want them spraying out of your nose), and let’s do this.
1.) One of my idols, Keith Moon, used to do this thing where he’d dress up in a horse costume and hide behind bushes and jump out at people or try to get on the bus wearing said costume, stuff like that. If you were to choose a costume to wear around town for one day, just to do errands (such as go to the post office, put gas in the car, etc.), what kind of costume would you choose?
The clowns in my attic are always begging to give me a makeover, so I’d probably let them turn me into one of them for the day. Hopefully I’d be able to turn back afterward. Hopefully I’d want to turn back afterward….
2.) If you were to purchase one of those new super-duper magical Swifter feather dusters, who would your old feather duster be more likely to shack up with: a pink bowling ball or a broom?
My feather duster would definitely fall in love with an old broom named Sweepy.
3.) What’s the most disgusting thing you’ve ever eaten at a friend’s barbecue? Was it beer can chicken?
At one barbecue, I tasted the roasted soul of a coconut monkey angel. Oh wait, you said friend, not fiend. At a friend’s house, I once ate some revolting vegan cheese, although it may have just been a bit of bird poop that dropped onto my veggie burger when I wasn’t looking.
4.) When Neil Gaiman said he was going to shave off his beard, you told me that you were going to shave yours, too. (I sent you @neilhimself’s tweet confirming the shave.) Have you shaved? (You know you could say yes and no one would ever know.)
I didn’t shave, but my beard recently escaped my face, transformed himself into an old broom, and started a Vaudeville act with my feather duster.
5.) If you were in Vegas, would you: a) gamble until you lose everything you own? b) ride all the theme-park rides until you get sick? c) hang out at the Star Trek thing the whole time, drinking those drinks that come in giant smoking glass balls (they use dry ice)? or d) visit the casino buffets, stuff your pockets with shrimp, and spend an evening shoving shellfish underneath the slot machines?
I’d hang out at the Star Trek place for a while, and like always, I’d end up unintentionally insulting a couple of tough-looking Klingons, so I’d escape to a theme park and I’d ride anything but a rollercoaster, because I’m a wimp, and then I’d go to a buffet and eat a couple mountains of potatoes.
6.) Since you are a phenomenal writer, I should ask something about writing. What’s the one word you mis-type the most?
I nevre mistpye aynthing becuase I’m jsut that godo.
7.) If Donkey Kong were living in your backyard and kept throwing barrels through your windows, would you call animal control or just let the attic clowns have him? Also, who would fix the windows?
I’m sure the yard gnome shamans would eventually use their sacred sporks to transform Kong into a pygmy version of himself. In time, DK would embrace his tiny stature and he’d end up joining the tribe of coconut monkeys in my garden. And the vindow viper would fix the windows. He’s quite the talented serpent.
8.) If you were on one of those “What Not to Wear” reality shows, what one article of clothing would the hosts make you throw away?
I’m guessing they’d want me to throw away my tattered Titan AE T-shirt. Of course, I’d never throw away Old Reliable.
9.) Are you one of those people who writes checks in the grocery store?
No, but I’m one of those people who write about grocery stores in the grocery store.
10.) What book(s) are you reading right now? Are they any good or will you use them as kindling this winter?
I’m reading quite a few wonderful books. Catch-22, The Handmaid’s Tale, God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, Fahrenheit 451. I’m also attempting to read through all the Newbury Medal winning books. Almost all of them have blown me away so far. As for kindling, I think I’ll steal some rainbow wigs from the clowns in my attic, and burn those instead.
Thanks so much, Jeremy, for visiting my sad little blog again!
Where can you find out more about Jeremy? Right here: Jeremy C. Shipp, writer guy’s shorts You can also find links on that site to buy his amazing fantastic books! Oh, and check this out Jeremy’s very own Horror World Forum